好久好久沒有更新了。
好幾次好以整暇坐定在電腦前，猶豫再三後，把 blogger 頁面關掉…好多話好多事想說，卻又不知從何開始，最後只好愣愣的對著螢幕發呆。
今天是我決定閉關的第一天。
剩下的這50天和四萬塊，是我放手一搏的決心，決定了我往後的人生。
我要靠一己之力，用盡所有力氣，在這最後50天用力 fighting；
然後，用所剩不多的存款，匯了4萬塊給留學代辦處，希望他們長年的專業和經驗，助我圓夢。
實在不是我要花這錢，而是臺灣出國唸體育的人寥寥可數，相關資訊少得可憐；
又加上無論國內外，體育這領域是小眾 ( 畢竟和文法商工相較之下是如此 )，資料有限，因此只能向專業代辦求助了 (嘆)。
曾經幾度我很掙扎…
舒舒服服待在家人身邊，有個疼愛我的好老公，朋友隨時約出來聚會玩樂；季節性的工作，讓我可以休息半年。況且，老公不介意我的工作性質，我已經找到長期飯票，不需要再拚這麼一遭。
要脫離習慣了30年的舒適圈，實在很難踏出那第一步，光是下定決心、做出決定，就讓我猶豫了好久，至少半年吧 = =
( 我這人做事呢，好聽的說法是乾脆，其實是魯莽，很少讓我裹足不前的事…半年，對我這樣率性的人而言，是躊踷夠久了，甚至不只半年！)
但我想， 既然選擇了這條路，就要好好的走下去，對自己負責，不留下任何遺憾。這是我現在的心情寫照。
信誓旦旦的說要出國唸書，回國後在大專院校當講師…後來卻敗在自己的懶怠，再回頭唸師大，勉強唸完，然後在教育界浮沉好幾年…說真的，這樣很孬！！
我所謂的孬，不是回師大唸書畢業後當代理/ 流浪教師，而是把自己當初做的決定始亂終棄！
因此，不管此番奮鬥結果如何，我都得好好的把這條路走完 ( 準備考試、出國和一切事宜 )。
還是那句老話…我的人生，絕不能留下遺憾！
閉關第一天，開始！！
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