There's someone else.

Don't ask me about it, yes, there's someone else.

At first, I thought that I would be very very very happy but now I don't think so. I'm not as happy as I think after all.
In my opinion, I think that only the evilest person can really be indulgent to this.

On the way home, by the faint light, I read the two letters from them again and again... And I found that I love both of them.

One who had led me into the way for the everlasting love, it was the first time for me for being so so so close to the so-called eternity.
He made me know how beautiful love is, made me know what the mature love is.
He's the one who made me know what the reality is, letted me know what the real life is; because of him, I became a better girl.
His tender love had helped me conquer many fears such as life and waiting.
The tenacity of him made me face the truth of life and love.
He loves me fondly, his tolerance almost persuaded me to stay only with him.

Afterwards, I met the other one, however, we met in a right place but of course in a wrong time.
He made me know how perfect I am; he gave me confidence for being a real woman; via him I've learned the unconditional love.
He made me know how beautiful and cute I am. Besides, he was a good listener and he was very willing to share everything with me.
He'd made my dream come truth cause I've longed for a burning love for a long time.
He ardored me so much that I feel that I'm a truly heartthrob for him. His ways for loving me were also I've expected for so long.
Being with him had shocked me all the time cause I was so suprised that I could be such a stunner for a guy.

How could this be???!!! What the hell I am doing???!!!
In the terms of morality, I am not allowed to do this and I am not supposed to divide my heart into two parts. All I have to do is being concentrate on a witherd love.

Worst of all, I hurt the one who I don't wanna hurt and who I love the most. I'm so sorry....
Everything of mine is out of control and I messed it up. I'm such a moron cause I'm unable to deal with them.
Two months later, I'm 22 years old already. But all the things I do seem that I'm not an adult yet. It's really pathetic.

Actually, I wanna go on and I'm expecting for an opportunity, an improvement. Moreover, I'm waiting a chance for healing my heart. To be honest, I don't wanna give up!!!

After all, I'm just a flesh and blood though I was trying to be a God cause I don't mean and I don't want to hurt anyone.

Could you guys please do not to reply me and ask me more about it, OK?? That's enough and I don't wanna talk about it anymore.

Everything is really eating me alive, could you guys please leave alone...???